Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
