Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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