yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize