And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
honey bunches of taint.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Randomize
