I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
