I love black thongs
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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