i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize