yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'm getting married
To pizza
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
