My hand turned me down
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
