Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Randomize
