I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
