david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize
