New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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