From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
