New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
