I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
