i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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