If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
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