omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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