My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
