You really coming over, don't trick.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
