Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
