you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Randomize
