New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize