I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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