my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
