do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
