but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
