trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
