Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
