I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
