just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
