i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
