just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
