fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
