dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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