she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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