i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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