he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
