I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
