Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
