can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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