We won't sleep together?
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
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