Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
