Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
