Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
