are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
