just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
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