I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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