It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
