Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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