hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
