they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
