thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Who did Billy Mays play for?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
pray to the hookup gods
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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