I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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