People with herpes should wear stickers.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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