I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
