My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Randomize
