Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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