Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
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