Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
